


for the words i can't say

by Setkia



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Brotherly Love, Happy birthday Yamaguchi!, M/M, Shounen ai
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-10
Updated: 2016-11-10
Packaged: 2018-08-30 07:00:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 979
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8523166
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Setkia/pseuds/Setkia
Summary: “I made you a mixed tape.”“You mean you put together a playlist?”The tips of Kei’s ears turn red and he’s sure he’s doing a really bad job at hiding it. “No, I mean I made you a mixed tape.”





	

**Author's Note:**

> I don't own Haikyūu!! This ended up being more about Tsuki than I wanted it to be, but it was kinda rushed cause I only found out last night that today is Yamaguchi's birthday. I feel like he doesn't get enough love. This ended up really brotherly and I really did want to give Tsuki's personality a shot. I hope I did it well. Also, "Tadaima" means "I'm back", and lastly, "Tsukishima Kei" can be interpreted to mean "Moon" and “Firefly".

_ “When someone asks you to listen to a song, it’s because the lyrics mean everything they’re trying to say.”— _ Anonymous

* * *

 

Kei doesn’t understand the appeal of mixed tapes.

It’s too much effort to try and go out of your way to make something that can take five minutes in these modern times and yet here he is, standing in the electronics aisle of the fourteenth shop he’s trying, staring at the very small selection of Walkmans. 

He pulls a random one off the shelf because what else can he do? And goes to the cashier and pays.

“I’m taking one of your tapes,” Kei announces off handedly as he slips off his shoes.

“What, no _tadaima_?”

Kei holds in a groan and instead “tch”s at the sight of his number one enemy.

“What do you need a tape for?” asks Akiteru. “You’ve got those fancy headphones,” he adds, tapping the Somy around Kei’s neck. Kei tries not to flinch. He fails.

“Does it matter?”

“You know, Tadashi’s birthday is next week, what are you gonna get him?” asks his brother, avoiding the question.

Kei turns his head away.

“Oh …” Akiteru grins. “How long does the tape need to be?”

Kei brushes past him and heads to Akiteru’s room. He doesn’t need Akiteru’s input, it doesn’t really matter. It was a stupid idea, one he got while researching for a project, and now that Akiteru knows, Kei feels like he’s lost some kind of undeclared battle. Besides, if Kei needs help, he’ll ask (but he doesn't and won’t ever) and even if he ever does (which he won’t) it sure as hell won’t be Akiteru he’s asking.

Plus, Kei’s known Yamaguchi since he was nine and he can’t call him by his first name that casually. Who does his brother think he is, talking about him so casually?

Kei opens the door to Akiteru’s room. It’s a mess, as expected.

“Hey! Kei!” The sound of footsteps up the stairs and then Akiteru pops his head into the room. “I’m your older brother, I help whether you want it, or not.”

Kei stares.

“Ah! I mean I’m not trying to sound cool or anything but I mean—”

“Which one?”

Akiteru stares at him this time, not quite sure what Kei means. Kei watches him and wonders if his brother is really this stupid. How has he survived so long?

“Never mind—”

“How many songs do you want?” Akiteru heads to the closet and pulls out a box full of cassettes. “You want to consider what order you want to put them on. Don’t forget that they’re are two sides. I’d recommend thirteen songs max. We can remove the sound from some of the old ones.”

Kei kinda regrets indirectly giving in and allowing Akiteru to join in on this present, but he drops to his knees and looks into the box. 

Some of the titles on the tapes are simple like, “Rainy day”, or “rainy day without umbrella”, or “family functions”. And then there’s one that makes him freeze.

_Moonlit Firefly._

“Oh, that one,” says Akiteru, reading it over Kei’s shoulder. “That was the last one I made I think. It was for your tenth birthday.”

“I remember,” Kei says.

“Really? Well, you never listened to it, you—”

“Hung out with Yamaguchi that day.”

Akiteru rubs his neck sheepishly. “I’ll just throw that away—”

“Play it.”

Akiteru stops. “What?”

“I want to hear it.”

“But—”

“Play it.”

The music is horrible. Ten year old Kei would’ve hated it and current fifteen year old Kei hates it. It’s trashy and there’s no taste. 

Akiteru watches his reactions, as he cringes and glares and generally just looks like he wants to murder someone.

“I’ll throw it away—”

“I want to keep it.”

Though Akiteru looks surprised, with wide eyes and his mouth open in disbelief, Kei is the most surprised by these words.

“Okay …”

They spend the week making the tape. It has thirteen songs on it (Kei pretends he didn't put thirteen just cause Akiteru said it was the best option) and then he has to give it to Yamaguchi.

Oh Kei is so not ready for this. 

They’re walking home from school and the Walkman and tape are burning a hole in his bag and they have been doing it the whole day and he’s not sure what to say or what he can say or what he should say so suddenly he stops walking and so does Yamaguchi.

“I made you a mixed tape.”

“You mean you put together a playlist?”

The tips of Kei’s ears turn red and he’s sure he’s doing a really bad job at hiding it. “No, I mean I made you a mixed tape.” 

Yamaguchi blinks. “Like … you recorded the songs and everything?”

Kei nods. He’s red, isn’t he? Damn him for having pale skin and being so see-through.

“You don’t need to listen to it—”

“I want to.” Yamaguchi grins. “Can I have it?”

“It’s kinda stupid—”

“Nothing Tsuki spends time on is stupid,” Yamaguchi says. 

_I spend time on you. Why do you think you’re stupid?_ But he doesn’t say it. He doesn’t know what to say. So instead he takes it out of his bag and hands it over. His hands are trembling and he hopes Yamaguchi doesn’t notice. 

“I’m gonna listen to it right now! Could I burrow your headphones?”

Kei shakes his head. “Not here.”

Yamaguchi’s shoulders slump, but it’s quickly gone and he’s grinning again.“Okay, I’ll just listen to it tonight.”

Yamaguchi receives many gifts that day, from his family and friends, but he never smiles as largely as he did when Kei handed him the Walkman.

When Kei comes back home, on his desk, there’s a cassette and an old Walkman. Akiteru’s. The cassette’s label reads:

_Moonlit Firefly Take 2_

Kei can’t help it.

He grins.

**Author's Note:**

> Now I realize this playlist is never actually said in the story, so I'm gonna tell you the playlist here (also, we're gonna pretend all these songs are Japanese):  
> Better Than I Know Myself by Adam Lambert  
> The Reason by Hobostank  
> Try by Colbie Caillat  
> First Time by Lifehouse  
> Bite My Tongue by Relient K  
> Fucking Perfect by P!nk  
> Please Don't Leave Me by P!nk  
> Just the Way You Are by Bruno Mars  
> I'm Only Me When I'm With You by Taylor Swift  
> Brave by Sara Bareilles  
> 1234 Plain White T's  
> Better Together by Jack Johnson  
> Tongue Tied by Faber Drive  
> In order to get the real message of what Tsuki was trying to say, you gotta listen to these songs, which is why he was so nervous about giving it to Yamaguchi.


End file.
